Introspection

Guest Tue Jan 11, 2011 7:15 pm

Guest: Guest

Post n°51

Re: Introspection

Guest Tue Jan 11, 2011 7:15 pm

@ Grand Master Of Disaster

Yes o great one, i tremble in your presence. Mighty scary nerd i ask for your forgiveness. Will you shower me with your wisdom? Guide me o Neo, for I am lost. I stand before you naked, you penetrating gaze can expose me for what I am.

I am growing balls as we speak Neo. I have two at the moment. Third one is on the way. I ll name it Mr.Pinchy.

I am now pasting this without permission.....

12:10:14 AM] Neo_WhiteWorldBridger: you've now officially awaken me sexually!
[12:10:46 AM] Neo_WhiteWorldBridger: xeia & martiza are sweethearts...
[12:10:57 AM] Ishtara Raven: yes they are
[12:11:01 AM] Neo_WhiteWorldBridger: my lovers
[12:11:39 AM] Neo_WhiteWorldBridger: they quarrel and fight unwilling to accept that i love them equally
[12:12:29 AM] Ishtara Raven: and as a good friend of theirs, and being so wise and knowing, you could assist with any grievances they have, or perhaps stir the shit pot, if your being dark and nasty. but i only ask because i care about them both neo and would like to see all the pety shit set aside and the real loving and healing begin.

Yes Xeia and Maritza...what are you both blind or something. Sorry Neo i ask for your forgiveness in their name. This man LOVES you and you act like 3D conditional women...the insult, the atrocity....i have NO words...i mean...HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO THAT...THAT.....being of LOVE AND LIGHT:

[12:10:46 AM] Neo_WhiteWorldBridger: xeia & martiza are sweethearts...
[12:10:57 AM] Ishtara Raven: yes they are
[12:11:01 AM] Neo_WhiteWorldBridger: my lovers
[12:11:39 AM] Neo_WhiteWorldBridger: they quarrel and fight unwilling to accept that i love them equally

MACHO MACHO ....MACHO MAN.....you just so ROCK Neo....can i learn from you. I wanna be just like you. Do you do boot camps Neo? Are you coaching?

[12:19:32 AM] Neo_WhiteWorldBridger: i've tried, and im afraid i've been depicted as Don Juan...an aritrocat with sinful intentions and insincere motives..made to be the wolf in sheeps clothing
[12:19:35 AM] Ishtara Raven: the 3-D jealousys will soon become a non-issue. its really just petty social BS that we've all been taught. busting this artificial bubble takes more time with some then others.
[12:20:03 AM] Ishtara Raven: silly bitches
[12:20:20 AM] Neo_WhiteWorldBridger: it is what it is
[12:20:44 AM] Ishtara Raven: yes, well in the mean time diffuse the tensions and just be yourself ok
[12:21:14 AM] Neo_WhiteWorldBridger: being myself is the problem at hand..how not to be myself sounds more of a solution
[12:21:16 AM] Ishtara Raven: you will all laugh histerically later lol
[12:22:14 AM] Neo_WhiteWorldBridger: i think i must dislike them both, then they'll be friends again
[12:22:26 AM] Ishtara Raven: for now, the polyamory is more of a mental excercise anyhow, most humans cannot handle the concepts yet and probably won't until after the shift
[12:22:45 AM] Ishtara Raven: thats silly
[12:23:15 AM] Neo_WhiteWorldBridger: silly it is...and perhaps that is exactly the point to make

You are a saint o great one. My heart is full of joy reading your words.

[12:36:48 AM] Xeia: what have you told her?
[12:38:07 AM] Neo: that's how she feels...that's how she sees things...that's why she's gone ballastic because she feels that I am as much into her as I am into you...and for her that cannot be...it most be her ...and only her...am only explaing her condition
[12:38:20 AM] Xeia: she feels she would be making a fool of herself but she won't... she would only be honest with herself for once
[12:38:53 AM] Xeia: yeah but how did she come into this "realization"?
[12:39:15 AM] Xeia: because i've told her what we've talked?
[12:41:24 AM] Neo: the truth is Xeia...that indeed i am very honest, and sincere...i've not held anything from her...in fact when i saw that the both of you where discussing our interactions...i've decided to openly address my feelings ...i emailed both of you...showed you both the same pictures...i figured their is no need for you and her to go behind my back and discuss me like that...i am more then willing to openly disclose to the both of you my feelings, and thoughts

So passionate, so profound, so...so ohhhhh Your divinity shines here...being opened with both AFTER exposed for talking seperately with each and not telling about it.

[12:42:34 AM] Neo: but...but...she CANNOT handle it...she's fallen of the wagon and has demonstrated over and over again like a nuclear explosion that such is not what she wants

Only a true eyes like yours can see so deep.

[12:45:32 AM] Neo: so, as to not make an enemy of her...nor complicate things any further...i've decided to let her be...i understand her...i will not bring YOU into HER picture of what it is we share..and vice versa

SAVIOR!!!

[12:51:15 AM] Neo: you are not listening...she knows i like you...why do you think she's constantly asking you if we've talked?

Yea Fumanda...what were you thinking...asking question like that. Shame on you...

[1:10:37 AM] Xeia: she came back into my life
[1:10:41 AM] Xeia: she came to ask
[1:10:47 AM] Xeia: i invited her in
[1:10:54 AM] Xeia: she walked through the Thuban door
[1:10:57 AM] Xeia: i forced noone
[1:11:02 AM] Xeia: see?
[1:11:33 AM] Xeia: i am open to her because i always cared for her as a person
[1:12:36 AM] Neo: well, setting the trap for the mouse doesnt mean you force the mouse into falling in the trap....right? c'mon...be honest with yourself...you told her about Thuban because you'd like her approval...you'd like to mirror you...
[1:12:55 AM] Xeia: no
[1:12:59 AM | Edited 1:13:02 AM] Xeia: i don't need a mirror
[1:13:09 AM | Edited 1:13:12 AM] Xeia: i already have my family in Thuban

BAD BAD Thuban.... Neo...can you still do it? Can you save us all or is it too late?

[1:15:51 AM] Xeia: we are all self-chosen ones here
[1:19:32 AM] Neo: which brings us back to us....i can't make out with you..if you are the type to kiss and tell ....because whether you realize it or not...not everyone need to know such things...and other people DO get hurt by such...relationship break up every day because of this very things, friendships are ruined, kids are divided from their parents...i mean all sort of things can happen when we kiss and choose to tell about it, out of a feeling of self-righteousness...
[1:20:30 AM | Edited 1:20:50 AM] Xeia: it's not self righteouness but honesty
[1:21:19 AM] Neo: honesty is a form of self-righteousness

Dirty Xeia told on you Neo.... I mean...can you believe this woman.....how could she not get your hiding and secrecy and hypocrisy

[1:24:48 AM] Neo: dont you just love my cock? tell me the truth? when you saw my cock did it please you? did it shock you? lol
[1:25:18 AM] Xeia: no it didn't "shock" me... i'm not lola
[1:25:41 AM] Xeia: and no... amm... yours is curved
[1:26:55 AM] Xeia: and besides... the only cock that gets me wet is Rok's
[1:26:55 AM] Neo: mine is not curved...its so big..gravity pulls it down...but in reality their is no curve...their is no arche
[1:27:07 AM] Xeia: oh really?
[1:27:10 AM] Neo: yes..really
[1:27:11 AM] Xeia: aww
[1:27:25 AM] Xeia: well... i tell you one thing... Lola LOVES it!! lol
[1:28:47 AM] Neo: laying down flat on my back..and trying to hold it from the bottom..so it could stay straight facing up. to take a picture..is nearly impossible to do on its own...
[1:29:16 AM] Xeia: yea i bet...

See o holy one...this is where the before DICK comment came from. I have no further words about this besides....ROFL, LOL, LMFAO...etc Or perhaps it could be said that the gravity has been REDEFINED according to Neos DICK. Tony are you reading this? Can you supply an equation for this joyous occasion?

[1:29:27 AM] Xeia: listen.... now let me ask you a question...
[1:29:38 AM] Xeia: why wouldn't you talk to her?
[1:29:46 AM] Xeia: why do you always hide?
[1:30:04 AM] Neo: I am not hiding...
[1:30:11 AM] Xeia: you know the girl wants you and needs you... why not make her happy?
[1:31:21 AM] Xeia: well?
[1:32:08 AM] Neo: so does a lot of people...
[1:32:33 AM] Neo: people are always soo possessive of me...lol
[1:32:42 AM] Xeia: oh so you're playing hard to get
[1:32:50 AM] Xeia: i get you
[1:32:55 AM] Neo: wait until she gets a taste of my dick...then she'll really go insane!

YES the all famous and worldly recognized DICK THERAPY...do you hold any patents on this one Neo.

[1:38:19 AM] Neo: i am not an insecure man
[1:38:25 AM] Neo: i am not a jelouse men
[1:39:14 AM] Neo: i am not a fearful man and do most often if not always know what i am talking about...

Breath taking....

[1:45:52 AM] Neo: she said so herself...she's never cheated on her hubby...but with me...is different...she wants to

Yea Fumanda...you want it baby don't you? You see it....since the 1st time....you cant control it....it will happen...it was foretold to happen...

[1:53:38 AM] Neo: would you go all the way even with my so called "curved" dick? lol
[1:53:49 AM] Xeia: no of course not
[1:53:54 AM] Xeia: i love Rok
[1:54:14 AM] Neo: ohhh you love rock? wait...this is getting interesting now
[1:54:32 AM] Xeia: what do you mean?... it's no secret
[1:54:40 AM] Xeia: everyone knows that
[1:55:22 AM] Neo: so, you are in a way close minded too...your love for Rok demands exclusiveness to you...hence it would be wrong to experience something else outside this box? hmmm
[1:55:33 AM] Xeia: nope
[1:55:37 AM] Xeia: not at all
[1:55:52 AM] Xeia: Rok makes no demands on me
[1:56:14 AM] Xeia: in fact he wants me to experience everything that makes me feel good
[1:57:42 AM] Neo: then why would you infer to your love for rok as the reason to not have my dick pleausure you into the realms of blissfull and outrageous splendid pleasures

This almooooooooosttt....made me hard Neo...your dick description i mean....you are such a notty notty boy...

[1:58:02 AM] Xeia: i did not such thing
[1:58:27 AM] Xeia: i never said it was because of my love for Rok that i am "forbidden" to do it
[1:59:14 AM] Neo: sure? that's what it sounded like...
[1:59:16 AM] Xeia: i simply would not want to have your dick pleasuring me because it won't be pleasurable to have a dick in me that wasn't his
[1:59:27 AM] Xeia: very simple
[1:59:39 AM] Xeia: i never said anything about exclusivity
[1:59:53 AM] Xeia: he forbids me nothing
[2:00:15 AM] Neo: you are mad...am not talking about him forbiding you...you forbid yourself
[2:00:29 AM] Xeia: yes i forbid myself
[2:00:39 AM] Neo: exactly..close mindedness
[2:00:48 AM] Xeia: i call it LOVE
[2:01:04 AM] Neo: we chose to see things as we want to see them..
[2:01:13 AM] Xeia: lol yeah we do indeed
[2:01:20 AM] Neo: not always as for what they truly are
[2:01:27 AM] Xeia: i love him
[2:01:55 AM] Xeia: ask lola... she knows
[2:02:49 AM] Neo: your love for him...is just as selfish...as Martiza's for me...yet you want her to cyber with other guys...and WAKER HER UP...girl...you are so confused...

Yea i mean pff .... you are so right here Neo.... in fact ALL of this chat here just so very much proves what you write on the forum....so much deep understanding in it... As long as your dick is involved....nothing can go wrong.

[2:03:09 AM] Xeia: no i don't want her to... SHE wants to
[2:03:21 AM] Xeia: she is not my victim
[2:03:48 AM] Xeia: and yes... she needs to wake up and get with the program pronto...ask Tony
[2:04:06 AM] Xeia: and my love for him is everything BUT selfish
[2:04:37 AM] Neo: you guys are so far from enlightment...its almost saddening :(
[2:04:49 AM] Xeia: baby... it's ok
[2:04:58 AM] Neo: i know it is...
[2:05:26 AM] Xeia: he's a great guy...really... you could be the best of friends
[2:06:34 AM] Neo: sorry...i have so many best friends already...i've barely have time to catch myself breath
[2:06:41 AM] Xeia: lol

Yea thubans ...lighten up....
So many friends...high demand for high quality goods a Neo..... Well good prize is sought for i always say....

2:08:25 AM] Xeia: now that is saddening :(
[2:08:56 AM] Neo: no it isn't...
[2:09:02 AM] Xeia: why not?
[2:09:37 AM] Xeia: we should all love each other unconditionally
[2:13:03 AM] Neo: because we are at different levels in most respects...everything is connected as part of a hiarchy...hence i look at your pattern of thinking, reasoning, and logic...and is as if i was looking at children...nonesense..its entertaining...but it lacks the right levels of maturity ...of knowledge...of wisdom...and at the end of the day...all i want to do is spend time with (my) circle of friends who are adults in mind, heart, body, and spirit...not babes..not children...teaching children can be so exhausting!

We are NOT worthy....we are NOT worthy....

[2:28:36 AM] Neo: you will not find a contradiction in me...ever...or hidden motive...or little games...of jelouse tantrums...and oh i hate him, he thinks his better then me, or he is trying to steal my girl...or bla bla bla bla...who's got time for all this pettiness?

Splendor and perfection right here...

[2:31:33 AM] Neo: exactly...Xeia...you know where to find me...whenever your in need of a real friend
[2:32:06 AM] Xeia: heaven
[2:32:17 AM] Xeia: all my friends are in heaven
[2:36:21 AM] Neo: well, then, that shows where that leaves me...all my friends are friend in LIFE...heaven is not real...its a Forum...an outlet...an Ilusion...
[2:36:49 AM] Xeia: i am real and i'm there
[2:38:18 AM] Neo: I am real too...but I am no longer plugged into the Matrix...i may occasionally stop by..and say Hello...but my life, my friends, are unplugged...they don't live in Heaven..they live in the REAL world
[2:38:31 AM] Neo: come visit sometime
[2:38:51 AM] Xeia: :*
[2:40:28 AM] Neo: (call) call me sometime...write me sometime...
[2:40:35 AM] Neo: i'll be around!
[2:41:21 AM] Neo: waiting for you to show me the REAL you!

My eyes are filled with tears...

@ Fumanda

Marsh-mellow I simply used one of the videos that were available...the choice is not exactly big so....i picked the video with just woman in it that also has a proper length to put my script in. Woman being fat or something...was not intentional.

It is nice that you exercise your body and keep an eye on your body fat...etc ....i like that.

Come to NY? Hmm can u accommodate me (bed+shower) in June for like 2 weeks?

Neo2012 Tue Jan 11, 2011 10:01 pm

Neo2012

Neo2012: Posts : 73
Join date : 2010-10-01

Post n°52

Rok....

Neo2012 Tue Jan 11, 2011 10:01 pm

Ohhh Rok, the thought inside my brain, as I read your such an "original" and "authentic" posts regarding my exploits with Xeia, and as I jerk-off to my spledid, illustrious, curved huge cock is this....Ohhh Ahhh Uhhhh yeah Rock..hmmm you've got me! I feel sooooooo exposed! I feel sooooo dirty! Oh god! YES! YES! YES! Ahhh!

You are such a man Rok! Wow, is no wonder Xeia is head over hills for you! hahahahahahaha

Are we feeling a tad jealous here Rok? What's the matter? Thought you where a big hung man? Huh? Are you experiencing some sort of male insecurity here? Hmmm

Are you suddenly feeling out gunned and out classed that you are resorting to "click and paste" to get some attention?

Do you really think that by reposting my chat with Xeia you will somehow expose me for a fraud? Or wait perhaps your expecting "brownie points" ahh I see. What are you thinking? Look, I give you Neo! A "wolf" in sheep’s skin!

Well, thank you! You flatter me pal, I did not know I had so many fans of my "curved dick" is really quite amazing actually!

Or wait; did you think I would feel embarrassed somehow? - Or somehow offended by your cheesy and somewhat distasteful fighting tactics? -

You little dirty fighter you! Hitting below the belt are we? Throwing, elbow strike to the back of my head! Wait, should I expect you to try and bite my ear off as Tyson did Hollyfield?

What's next? You'll resort to emotionalism? You'll start yelling and screaming and pretending to be losing control of yourself...Look! Everybody look, this guy is a dick, and don’t you see? He is a dick!

Let me tell you something Rok, regardless of your "tactics" you are still my brother and I love you!

And, don't think for a moment that people don't see through you, just as much as I do.

These tactics are designed to put the other person down, and to subvert true interpersonal equality and is old as time! Nonetheless, I am game, see unlike you I have no ounce of insecurity in me or in my life or the things I do or say, nor in how I act or the actions I take in my life!

Everything I do, say, I do and say with a purpose. I immerge myself fully into the “now”, into the moment, therefore, I could never regret or feel remorse, or put down! So, what if other may misconstrue my motives and intentions! That’s their problem! Not mine!

However, because I do love Alexandria and I do love Xeia and I do so truly and genuinely not like some perv that’s never met either them, I will elaborate for them!

I will come out and place them on High Pedestal since I find very distasteful and degrading that you’ve gone ahead and posted something directly involves them to sexual talks on public forum without even considering the fact that neither of them may appreciate being discussed publicly like this!

In addition, by posting our Skype chat, Xeias and mine on a forum, you've not exposed me, you’ve exposed them! And, that’s how much you say to love and care for Xeia?

As far as me, you’ve not suppressed me, you've not inhibited my freedom of expression, on the contrary, you've added to it. Thank you!

You've allowed me to express myself openly and freely to levels and heights I had not possibly dreamed of doing and I thank you!

We do not need your "third person opinion", or your "interpretation" of things I said, nor you’re out of context views that are worth less than pennies!

I am here, and can voucher for myself! The meanings and motives of our chat!

Now, I am able to speak for myself on this dragged out and boring topic, that keeps circulating the Forum!

I never knew that my huge cock would get so much attention online! Damn!

Moreover, now I can openly express how I feel towards two beautiful women whom I care for and genuinely love since, and fell in love with from the moment I met each one of them over 20 something years ago.

Woman who are real, who've I've met face to face, and that I've shared classes with, conversation and sports, not just online chats but real life experiences! Both of which I am extremely fond of and who’s life and dreams I do take seriously!

However, as I’ve stated before, fear is not in me! I feel you don’t quite grasp this yet!

Look, you imbecile! I am not afraid of making myself vulnerable! That is "true freedom", regardless of who likes me and who doesn't such is not a prerequisite of acquiring self-knowledge and true freedom. Emotional expression exposes a part of us that makes us vulnerable to attack from others. We reveal a part of ourselves that can now be exploited and can be used to cause hurt or pain to "others" by uncaring and insensitive people like you.

So, since, you've been so kind as to open the box of Pandora, lets evaluate, shall we!

1. I own my feelings! I've always felt attracted to Xeia since High School and that is now no loger a secret, so what? -
2. I love Alexandria, Fumanda, and all her glorious self. We've build an awsome relationship, and share a great connection and she's extremely attractive! So what?
3. Xeia and her are friends and they've had trouble grasping that i find them both hot and sexy, that's their problem to sort out! So what?
4. That I am well hunged, and exceed your very own masculinity, have bigger balls, and higher intellect? so what? get over yourself!

Oh Rok, is this is what you've been degraded to? To being a jealous, insecure, envious little toad of a man? - Is this your feel of the "Real Logos"? - Shame on YOU!

[2:03:48 AM] Xeia: and yes... she needs to wake up and get with the program pronto...ask Tony
[2:04:06 AM] Xeia: and my love for him is everything BUT selfish

Xeia has largely critized Alexandria for being closed minded, not being a "free spirited" self unlike her, not being "opened minded" unlike her, but here she exposes her true feelings about love, not suprisingly much equal to Alexandrias own ideologies. Yet, she denies it! Because, she's desperately trying to be someone she is not, she's desperately seeking the approval of her "online" unrealistic and shadowy family that has no real substance, that would post things up online in attempt to make themselves look good not withstanding that they'll dragging along with them others that perhaps don't need nor want the exposure! What fucked up family is that?

[1:19:32 AM] Neo: which brings us back to us....i can't make out with you..if you are the type to kiss and tell ....because whether you realize it or not...not everyone need to know such things...and other people DO get hurt by such...relationship break up every day because of this very things, friendships are ruined, kids are divided from their parents...i mean all sort of things can happen when we kiss and choose to tell about it, out of a feeling of self-righteousness...
[1:20:30 AM | Edited 1:20:50 AM] Xeia: it's not self righteousness but honesty
[1:21:19 AM] Neo: honesty is a form of self-righteousness

Your comment Rok, "So passionate, so profound, so...so ohhhhh Your divinity shines here...being opened with both AFTER exposed for talking separately with each and not telling about it." "Dirty Xeia told on you Neo.... I mean...can you believe this woman.....how could she not get your hiding and secrecy and hypocrisy"

Uhh Hmmm Yup! You got me! - Look you FOOL!!!!

Secrecy and hypocrisy is one thing and stupidity and ignorance is another thing very different altogether! Whatever influenced or stimulated Xeia to tell Alenxandria, "open her eyes", are anything but pure motives!

Had our chat stayed between her and I, wouldn’t she quickly had realize sooner or later the limitations of our self-disclosures? Limited to nothing more than an opportunity to reciprocate a fantasy, verbalizing a fantasy and not to be examined outside the context of just two adults having an adult conversation period? -- Oh God forbid!

Unlike what Alexandria and I talk about, whereas we engaged in topics of conversation that has to do with our children, our married lives, politics, religion, moral ethics, sexuality, sex, feelings, and emotions therein lies our real connection!

Rok, you are dealing with things you don't even comprehend yet! However, smart is a woman who understands and can tell a verbal abuser when she sees one! And you my friends are in need of lots more growing up to do before you can become a REAL man!

For a real man, avoids inflicting psychological pain on others to try and win an argument or prove their point whatever far fetched point that is, or expose what they think is true but that in reality has his own underlying agendas. (not my pain you fool, but two friends who already have been in conflict long enough over this ridiculous crap)

Jr. one should be very careful to examine ones perceptions before going about "copying and pasting" like some sort of compulsive epileptic attack, and make sure that you are seeing what exists in real life, not just in your false notions and/or predictions of others.

Xeia, if you want a true friend’s advice, dump this loser darling! Embrace your true divinity, but do so without false prophets and pretentious insecure phony 27-year-old adolescent boy!

I love you Xeia! Sadly Xeia all of this back and forth negative energy has created a dense magnetic field around you and I. Notice, how you and I have not been able to throughly talk, connect or communicate with each other?

I don't feel we've been able to come to full circles you and I, in High School nor now. And, its truly a shame!

And, Alexandria I hope you know you, you are in my heart and that I love you as well! And, I only have one thing to ask of you...do not mirror Rok. Stop behaving jelously, and insecure, and afford Xeia and I the opportunity to be close friends as well without all this nonesense going around. I don't mean in a sexual way, but in a spiritual way.

What does our families and kids have to do with anything Xeia? - It has to do with the fact that we didn't meet online...we know each other from way back.

Somehow, I think we've lost sight of our true connection, and friendship! And, if their is any blame to be assigned, I suppose you can blame me then. I'll take the blame! I'll take responsibility.

I much rather you see me as a teen ager holding his cock on his hands for you to see, than a man holding his dick for you to fuck!

I love you, you are and always been a great friend to me. The rest is pure nonesense, and childish play, so, let us put away the childish things and up hold that which is of greater value...shall we?

G'nite

Last edited by Neo2012 on Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:47 am; edited 4 times in total

**SuiGeneris** Tue Jan 11, 2011 10:16 pm

SuiGeneris

SuiGeneris: Posts : 977
Join date : 2010-05-16
Location : Gaia

Post n°53

Keep dreaming girl...!

SuiGeneris Tue Jan 11, 2011 10:16 pm

Alexandra wrote:I mean come on, my love...Have I not mysterious green eyes, flawless skin, lustrous hair, a Double D Cup size and an a*** men love to spanK???!!!

Yeah and I'M GONNA SPANK IT ALRIGHT... you just wait!! In fact, that's what i had in mind not too long ago and you chickened out R E M E M B E R ? ? ? hehe...

Alexandra wrote:I will have you know, that while I am certainly not able to produce a lap dance or any other "sexy stuff"

Do not despair my sweet Lola.. get me a pole and i'll teach you! cheers

Alexandra wrote:you may appreciate, I do dance the tango, the flamenco, and the sexiest salsa this side of the Atlantic...

Woah woah....... now wait a minute!!!!

How dare you say such a thing? hmmmm... mus be that "someone is still sore" it seems huh?

It's true, i give you the Tango and the Flamenco... but it was ME who won the Salsathon we held at the Union Hill HS remember? Why do you think that was? Because of the Holy Spirit or some Cuban brujería down in Bergenline Avenue? Noooo my dearest... Salsa runs in my veins and you know this better than anyone.. now get over it and admit it once and for all...

Xeia is the Queen of Salsa on ANY side of the Atlantic!! trophy

In fact, I was all Salsified ever since i was in my mom's womb, and everyone knew i take my Salsa seriously... and still do!!

So bite your elbow chica!

Alexandra wrote:In fact, come to New York...I will teach you some steps...that is, with Xeia's approval, of course...

Nah... you don't wanna teach him Salsa... be honest! Do you think I haven't noticed?? You already feel this immense attraction... you already love Rok, you are attracted to his energy... I know... Now, what are we gonna do about this huh?

Xeia Kali de Waterflyer, Leviathan of the Realms yea

Lola Wed Jan 12, 2011 3:19 am

Lola

Lola: Posts : 65
Join date : 2010-10-01

Post n°54

FOR ALL....

Lola Wed Jan 12, 2011 3:19 am

Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words.

Keep your words positive, because your words become your behaviour.

Keep your behaviour positive, because your behaviour becomes your habit.

Keep your habits positive, because your habits become your values.

Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.

-Mahatma Gandhi

Lola Wed Jan 12, 2011 3:31 am

Lola

Lola: Posts : 65
Join date : 2010-10-01

Post n°55

FOR XEIA...Introspection and the topic of SALSA

Lola Wed Jan 12, 2011 3:31 am

HEY YOU!!!!

Let's set the record straight, OK!!! The ONLY reason you won that Salsathon was because I had a cold and my partner sucked ass!

If you STILL have doubts, then I have the solution....

Go into your closet...Get out that red miniskirt of yours...and meet me Friday night at The Copa...10 PM... OFF 52nd Street in case you forgot!!!

We can settle this...MANO A MANO...

And last time I checked, you couldn't hold your liquor very well so get ready girl...cause it's gonna get hot...!!!!!

AND PS: DONT BE JEALING....DONT BE A HATER! BE A LOVER BABY...

I'M READY...Salsa, Bachata, Merengue, Reggeaton, Cumbia, Mambo, Samba...You name it...I'll even through in some GUAGUANCO AND VOODOO For You!!!

Watch out Peru...Cause Cuba is comminnn a knockinggg and we bring el BEMBE for YOU!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Lola Wed Jan 12, 2011 3:53 am

Lola

Lola: Posts : 65
Join date : 2010-10-01

Post n°56

FOR NEO..........Introspection...

Lola Wed Jan 12, 2011 3:53 am

Sweetie, that line you quoted me saying was being Edited when you posted your message. My bad. I did not articulate that well! And, I opologyse for the misunderstanding. I do feel we are on the same page!

Neo, you know as well as I do that the picture was aimed at Xeia and I...not Rok and Tony...for the Post was addressed to us...

I accept your apology, however, bitter sweet the taste...Indeed...My bad???...that is all I get???...Maybe you see me as having a false sense of entitlement but I do feel I deserve more...

Xeia, too...

It is currently 10 30 Eastern Time on Tuesday, Jan. 11th...Sadly, Neo, I must tell you that I am back in New Jersey...Took the red eye flight this morning...My father got a bug up his ass that if he didn't come home NOW...the impending storm was going to leave him stranded in Florida...without his meds...

And so I left...sadly, I didn't get to see the Venetian Fountain with you...just as well...since you couldn't decide whether you wanted to take me and a glass of wine to this place or make it a family trip...g/f in tow...

I would have seen you yesterday but we fought and last week, deja vous...we fought...

Well, I am done fighting...tired...

Thanks for saying what you did about Rok's post...Yes airing "dirty laundry", private chats on open Forum IS uncalled for...This is not easy for me...and I can imagine, Xeia has not had an easy day as well because of it...

But such is life and this is just another lesson on the road to wisdom...

I didn't get to see you and I regret that...Alas, life is full of regrets...However, I do plan to return in the summer with my family...and THEN it will be MY TURN to invite YOU to meet my husband and kids...can you handle it? Can you dig it?

For now, Be a man, pick up the phone, and give me a real apology...you know the number...No need to scream it out to the 4 winds...or post anything further...

Unless, of course, you feel compelled to do so... ;D

Guest Wed Jan 12, 2011 7:45 am

Guest

Guest: Guest

Post n°57

Re: Introspection

Guest Wed Jan 12, 2011 7:45 am

Neo you are self absorbed delusional lunatic with a great need for external validation and overall general approval from others. Your quasi social dynamics failed big time both on Xeia and later i think also on Fumanda. Some of the PUA stuff you do would actually work on some airhead Barby girl with even bigger emotional problems than you....but here your attempts are just something to laugh about.

You are simply too full of yourself to see anything else and spare me with your "love" for me or anyone else...you have none....

Your chat (the one posted and many other vomit that i have not posted) nullifies your yada yada on the forum. None is exposed but you. Well you have been exposed for some time now. All can see it (more or less) It is just you that is playing the jester here.

I am not jealous over you Neo....you are everything but someone to get jealous about....or out gunned or anything. I could only pity you...given your responses in the chat...and all the nonsense you throw out here on the forum....but i prefer to make fun out of you...

I wont bite you Neo....or throw a fuss... that would no longer be fun and it would be playing your game. See i do not care about you (no surprise here) i am just here to keep your light on.

Not sure why you are here? You have given your offer to the girls = Your splendid EGO manifested in the form of your dick that has some epic qualities or something... So they are aware of your self centered proposal...and both of them are free to go and accept it, at any time, if they so choose. Nothing and no one is preventing this.. The same goes for all the rest of the people that are in contact with you...in fact...anyone can use their birth given right to be stupid. So we would (or at least i would) prefer you to shut the fuck up and post something of value (which you actually can not) or GTFO from here. Your mastery in just about anything is boring beyond believable.

Until that time my ego will use you in any way possible to make fun out of you and to keep your light on.

Neo wrote:
For a real man, avoids inflicting psychological pain on others to try and win an argument or prove their point whatever far fetched point that is, or expose what they think is true but that in reality has his own underlying agendas. (not my pain you fool, but two friends who already have been in conflict long enough over this ridiculous crap)

I am sure you are a real man Neo....

Do you share your girl friend Neo? Does it turn you on thinking about her having sex with other men?

Neo wrote:
And, Alexandria I hope you know you, you are in my heart and that I love you as well! And, I only have one thing to ask of you...do not mirror Rok. Stop behaving jelously, and insecure, and afford Xeia and I the opportunity to be close friends as well without all this nonesense going around. I don't mean in a sexual way, but in a spiritual way.

Yes higher energies all the way. You fucked it up yourself Neo...no need to seek blame in others. Too late to cry about it.

Your trying to divert attention, twisting of words and manipulation will not help you.

Now you can go on and on and on...scream like little boy that you are.about it....or....you can shut up for a change

Last edited by Rok on Wed Jan 12, 2011 8:47 am; edited 2 times in total

Guest Wed Jan 12, 2011 8:30 am

Guest

Guest: Guest

Post n°58

Re: Introspection

Guest Wed Jan 12, 2011 8:30 am

Lola wrote:

Thanks for saying what you did about Rok's post...Yes airing "dirty laundry", private chats on open Forum IS uncalled for...This is not easy for me...and I can imagine, Xeia has not had an easy day as well because of it...

But such is life and this is just another lesson on the road to wisdom...

Get over it bitch and do not dunk Xeia into it just to see her response and have your fun.

Neo2012 Wed Jan 12, 2011 2:03 pm

Neo2012

Neo2012: Posts : 73
Join date : 2010-10-01

Post n°59

To Rok

Neo2012 Wed Jan 12, 2011 2:03 pm

Rok wrote:
I am not jealous over you Neo....you are everything but someone to get jealous about....or out gunned or anything.

So they are aware of your self centered proposal...and both of them are free to go and accept it, at any time, if they so choose. Nothing and no one is preventing this.. The same goes for all the rest of the people that are in contact with you...in fact...anyone can use their birth given right to be stupid.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
From Macbeth (Act V, Scene v)

This passage might be summarized as “life has no meaning,” but please let’s take into account the figurative language that reveals the depth of Macbeth’s despair and his view of the absolute meaninglessness of life.

By comparing life to a “brief candle,” Macbeth emphasizes the darkness and death that surround human beings. The light of life is too brief and unpredictable to be of any comfort. Indeed, life for Macbeth is a “walking shadow,” futilely playing a role that is more farcical than dramatic, because life is, ultimately, a desperate story filled with pain and devoid of significance.

What the figurative language provides, then, is the emotional force of Macbeth’s assertion; his comparisons are disturbing because they are so apt.

My dear Rok…

Are you feeling like Macbeth just about now? Life has no meaning? Because you’re beloved Xeia and I had an exchange of energies? We made a confession to each other about liking one another in High School; I stated something and she reciprocated when perhaps she should’ve never flirted back because of your feelings for her and vice versa?

See, this is why I love literature so much! Because, where other just read “vomit” I tend to focus the figurative meaning of their words in action, the emotional force being asserted, which agreeably at times can be expressed in disturbing fashion!

Nonetheless, when a man becomes familiar with his self, gains self-knowledge of his own emotions and is able to harness their energy and channel them correctly, well, the results would be a lot less disturbing and much more effective.

Rok, you’re jealous! And, rather then finding positive outlets of releasing those feelings of jealousy, and insecurity, you’ve taken a defensive position, placed yourself on an “attack” mode, now, pretending to laugh at me, when in reality your are crying out like a baby for the love you have for Xeia.

Ultimately, futilely playing a role that is more farcical than dramatic!

Go ahead Rok, you can attack me all you want, I am invincible, bullets cannot hurt me, and neither can Kryptonite. You can continue pursuing an empty and futile path with claims of laughter at my expense and crying under your mother’s skirt, pointing fingers at me, all day long if you want.

In the end, consider that you’ll eventually grow up, come out of the shadows, smile, and realize in simple terms that expressing love for someone makes us vulnerable to getting hurt, and that is an acceptable risk. And, that because something hurts us, it doesn’t mean we have to “punch that person in the stomach” figuratively speaking!

Life is not a “walking shadow” Rok! Stop being a “poor player” and an “idiot” and realize life is a “tale”.

Metaphors transform people, places, objects, and ideas into whatever the writer imagines them to be, and if metaphors are effective, the reader’s experience, understanding, and appreciation of what is described are enhanced.

When I read YOUR “vomit” Rok, I can appreciate your feelings towards Xeia, but am not sure if Xeia or anyone else reading it are appreciating the same thing or just focusing on your poor character, and flawed and utterly immature demeaning and childish tactics.

My boring yet with all these “life’s lessons” Rok?

C’mon Rok, kiss and make up and tell us ALL how much you love Xeia!

Express your true self and stop being such a coward!

Xeia woudn’t you rather see that displayed in the pages of an open Forum rather then waking up looking at Heaven and see someone’s “copy & paste” immature, insensitive, display of tantrum over a chat you had with an old High School friend? –

Where is your Honor, your Chivalry, and your manhood? – Rok…wake the fuck up!

Bored yet? Laughing yet? – Soooooo sad! L

Nevertheless Rok, if Xeia doesn’t love you, you can always masturbate to your presentiment and thought of us partaking in some sort of powerful and stimulating orgy! Ok? - “Shadows and Darkness” my friend….

Last edited by Neo2012 on Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:48 am; edited 1 time in total

Guest Wed Jan 12, 2011 3:10 pm

Guest

Guest: Guest

Post n°60

Re: Introspection

Guest Wed Jan 12, 2011 3:10 pm

Poetry and Shakespeare even...has to be something deep and profound....i am sure it gives a lot of weight to your post...

Besides poetry I see nothing new. Just you being in the lala land.

Oh oh a lecture on English literature....

No Neo i do not base my life meaning on anything you can come up with. Through all this time..you could at least get that.

Your high school orgasmic dreams are of no importance to me... But you might want to look into the details about the problems from high school that you still drag along....but not here... You need a "professional" for that.

Vomit and Macbeth? Neo are you comparing your writings with the ones of Shakespeare? Has your Ego just reached yet another level?

Neo you are channeling...something here yes this is for sure...for all this time....if that are your emotions...well not so sure about that. But i am sure your are channeling your Ego.

I am not unconditional Neo i told you that and if you feel under attack than you should ask yourself why do you feel threatened and apply some of your own "medicine" and alike, i also said to you before in some other response....if you were not a fake you would not meet me...or if you would meet me....it would be in a very different way and also our way of communication would be different. Although me being me...would still be the same and you are not the first having problems to digest that.

And again you are diverting attention......ballast and more ballast....taking a look at yourself for once would not hurt you

She knows it Neo..... do not worry yourself with this....no need to "call me out" on it.... I will not play your game...responding to you is more than enough...

Also no need for you to manipulate like that...indirectly pressing on her emotional buttons....

Your meddling...your double face...has already caused her "unpredictable spanish blood" to cause a lot of commotion for nothing.....because of your yada yada on the forum and it went far enough that the chain of events influenced her domestic situation in a very unpredictable way...it has also influenced me but i can swallow her reactions..so it is not about me...this is all you need to know...

Yet there seems to be no limit to how far you will go to actually get your right....

There is no tactic Neo...we are just talking and you are doing quite nice at showing your face (which you so "cleverly" hide in private exchanges) I am not pretending here Neo...i am not wearing a mask....i am not in some play wearing a costume...

Yes Neo no one has her on the leash...well there is J. but that has nothing to do with me...she can go for you (and your sexual gymnastics) at any moment...if she chooses to...her choice. Do you get this, can you get this?

choice - action - consequence.....

Please do not speak to me about chivalry and manhood and the hypocrite you are...wanting to tell me about honor....your self delusions...

Now....Go get your pregnant girlfriend and take her to what is socially acceptable called gentleman club..or something...and have your way with her....or go make yourself busy with all those many friends you said you have...and stop wasting time here with a bunch of losers that simply do not get you.... Do this Neo...do it for you....you deserve it.

Neo2012 Wed Jan 12, 2011 5:42 pm

Neo2012

Neo2012: Posts : 73
Join date : 2010-10-01

Post n°61

sorry charlie....

Neo2012 Wed Jan 12, 2011 5:42 pm

Avenge, O Lord, thy slaughtered saints, whose bones
Lie scattered on the Alpine mountains cold;
Even them who kept thy truth so pure of old,
When all our fathers worshiped stocks and stones,
Forget not; in thy book record their groans
Who were thy sheep, and in their ancient fold
Slain by the bloody Piedmontese, that rolled
Mother with infant down the rocks. Their moans
The vales redoubled to the hills, and they
To heaven. Their martyred blood and ashes sow
O’er all the Italina fields, where sill doth sway
The triple Tyrant; that from these man grow
A hundredfold, who, having learnt thy way,
Early may fly the Babylonian woe.

John Milton (1608 – 1674)
On the Late Massacre in Piedmont

On the Late Massacre …Milton’s protests against the treatment of the Waldenses, members of a Puritan sect living in Piedmont, was not limited to this content.

It is thought that he wrote Cromwell’s appeals to the duke of savoy and to others to end persecution.

When…stones: In Milton’s Protestant view, English Catholics had worshiped their stone and wooden statues in the twelfth century, when the Waldensian sect was formed.

In thy book…rocks: On Easter Day, 1655, 1,700 members of the Waldensian sect were massacred in Piedmont by the duke of Savoy’s forces.

Triple Tyrant: The Pope, with his tree-crowned tiara, has authority on earth and in Heaven and Hell.

Baylonian woe: The destruction of Babylon, symbol of vice and corruption, at the end of the world.

Protestants interpreted the “Whore of Babylon” as the Roman Catholic Church.

~Be mindful of your thoughts and your feelings, oh Dear Rok, and look carefully at whom you are professing enmity. ~

Your high school orgasmic dreams are of no importance to me... But you might want to look into the details about the problems from high school that you still drag along....but not here... You need a "professional" for that.

Now that you mentioned it, you are right. I do have a problem from High School which I began setting the record straight when I openly expressed to Xeia what my feelings in High School where like towards her!

See, it was Xeia who found me on FB and it was her that found Fumanda and made this Triangle happen, however, the triangle already existed! Which I’ve now, just decided to call it as it is, a “The Holy Trinity”

Except that things have been totally misconstrued and polluted by a ranting, jealous, insecure, and selfishness being…YOU!

It is YOU who’s created deceit, trying your hardest to frustrate the flow of energies amongst Xeia, Fumanda and Myself. Why? - Because you are not seeing yourself as the night in Shinning Armor coming to Rescue the Princess any longer.

Deep down your envious. You don’t want to lose being thee man in control of things! Your afraid, you are in fear of inferiority.

I am not unconditional Neo i told you that and if you feel under attack than you should ask yourself why do you feel threatened and apply some of your own "medicine" and alike, i also said to you before in some other response....if you were not a fake you would not meet me.

Under attack and feeling threaten are too different things. I am under attack, you are feeling threaten, and therefore you attack!

Listen to your words, listen to your emotions, become one with the self…this is what you are not doing!

if you were not a fake you would not meet me

I’ve met you because you’ve come across the Holy Trinity; we’ve crossed roads, and your acting cowardly, lost, you don’t longer know your place, and feel threatened.

taking a look at yourself for once would not hurt you

This, I do constantly!

Your meddling...your double face...has already caused her "unpredictable Spanish blood" to cause a lot of commotion for nothing.....because of your yada yada on the forum and it went far enough that the chain of events influenced her domestic situation in a very unpredictable way...it has also influenced me but i can swallow her reactions..so it is not about me...this is all you need to know...

She found me Rok online and why? - Have you stopped to consider the why Rok?

We sat in each other’s home room, for “four” years, next to each other in fact, and for 10 minutes of each other’s life we’d discuss or personal lives, our love of music, and art, poetry. We looked at each other’s eyes with admiration and never expressing our true feelings in our hearts for one another, because, we where teenagers unwary of the future!

Meddling? Don’t be illusive and childish for crying out loud!

because of your yada yada on the forum and it went far enough that the chain of events

Is this your apology for doing something utterly distasteful in publicly exposing our chat as if she was some kind of whore? –

Let me tell you something in case you’ve not figured this out, Xeia is too much of a woman for you! Xeia is a Goddess in her own right! Her spiritual purity and dephness isn’t your “found treasure” to obsess over, own and abuse.

Her mind and soul are all but the most fertile of sacred grounds, and you will take your shoes off, your socks even and wash your feet thoroughly before asking permission to step on her soil..is that meddling enough for you now?

Yet there seems to be no limit to how far you will go to actually get your right

Yes, there is no limit as to how far I would go to express to Xeia that I love her, that she is my friend, and I admire her, and that she’s ageless in my eyes, her beauty will never fade, she is perpetualized in my dreams and in my heart exactly as I met her on the first day of school. She will forever, eternally be that and more! Not only a woman who’s charm and beauty dazzled me and inspired poetry in me and bulgarly turned me on and made me carry a hard-on for her, a torch that’s worthy enough to mention after so many years have passed since High School, but more so the lingering love our friendship and connection that’s MEDDLED into the picture.

Yes, it seems that we weren’t able to “make love” in a physical sense in High School and now as adults we can’t “make love” in metaphorically and spiritual way either because a little pencil dick like you seem to think I am meddling with what? - Your conditional love of her!?

The same love that went far enough a chain of events that lead us to believe you’re a dutch bag?

And, now you want me banned from Heaven, you want to make sure Xeia doesn’t communicate with me, you want to block our connection because it doesn’t suite your purposes!

Yes Neo no one has her on the leash...well there is J. but that has nothing to do with me...she can go for you (and your sexual gymnastics) at any moment...if she chooses to...her choice. Do you get this, can you get this?

The only thing I get Rok is this…

That you post chats online of a sexual nature that excludes you, and that belong to other people without their explicit consent in order to put down her friend, try to make him look bad, and expose her as some kind of tramp that goes around having sex talk with other guys.

[1/5/2011 2:16:28 AM] Neo2012: [Wednesday, January 05, 2011 2 AM] LolaPhoeniX - Maritza: she told me she is forbidden to talk to you by rok...she told me that rok is jealous and doesn't want her "cybering" with other men and that rok hates you...you have no idea the line of shit she is feeding me and I just keep on being polite
i follow her lead all because YOU said I had to be a good friend and SUPPORT her...well...as fucking usual...i have to support everybody else and who gives a fuck about me...I have to just eat it...and put on a happy face...
[1/5/2011 2:16:55 AM] Xeia: all true
[1/5/2011 2:17:01 AM] Xeia: she is not lying here
[1/5/2011 2:17:13 AM] Xeia: except the "HAVE" to part

See, Rok? - No one has her on leash? Huh, but you sure try don’t you? –

Somehow you’ve managed to infiltrate her computer, block her from contacting me on Skype, and want to ban me from the Forum…etc.

stop wasting time here with a bunch of losers that simply do not get you.... Do this Neo...do it for you....you deserve it

You've fallen of your pedestal Rok...is okay. We still love you and are here for you, just need to show us your true self, and will accept you as our own.

I am not going anywhere Rok, in fact, I don’t see you as a Loser or anyone here like a Loser for that matter!

I love Xeia, I love Fumanda, I love Tony, I love everyone in this forum, I love all, but I will not have things twisted about, sit still while I watch someone I love being manipulated and tormented by some over seas phantom that thinks his some type of demi-god who’s intentions are not even clear.

Sorry, Charlie, I am in your face, and you better come clean…because I plan on sticking around for a very, very, very long time!

Last edited by Neo2012 on Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:49 am; edited 1 time in total

Guest Wed Jan 12, 2011 5:59 pm

Guest

Guest: Guest

Post n°62

Re: Introspection

Guest Wed Jan 12, 2011 5:59 pm

Neo2012 wrote:
[1/5/2011 2:16:28 AM] Neo2012: [Wednesday, January 05, 2011 2 AM] LolaPhoeniX - Maritza: she told me she is forbidden to talk to you by rok...she told me that rok is jealous and doesn't want her "cybering" with other men and that rok hates you...you have no idea the line of shit she is feeding me and I just keep on being polite
i follow her lead all because YOU said I had to be a good friend and SUPPORT her...well...as fucking usual...i have to support everybody else and who gives a fuck about me...I have to just eat it...and put on a happy face...
[1/5/2011 2:16:55 AM] Xeia: all true
[1/5/2011 2:17:01 AM] Xeia: she is not lying here
[1/5/2011 2:17:13 AM | Edited 2:32:19 AM] Xeia: except the "HAVE" to part

See, Rok? - No one has her on leash? Huh, but you sure try don’t you? –

Somehow you’ve managed to infiltrate her computer, block her from contacting me on Skype, and want to band me from the Forum…etc.

I do not forbid her. I told her i do not like her talking with a fuck ass such as yourself. That Fumanda adjusted the "truth" to her needs is not the first time... She once lied to Xeia that i said i hate her (xeia) and stuff...so bitch saying this is not a surprise. It is her...it is part of who she is.

I told Xeia i dislike her talking to you....and this is not secret. She gets very emotional. She can get into...personal problems (i had to edit out details on her request), you know nothing about, when she gets emotional.

I ALSO told her...to GO and DO IT....if she wants to.... That she HAS to DO IT...if she wants to...

IT IS UP TO HER

Believe it or not Neo...i am here because she had an emotional reaction to your shit you post here and because that bitch she calls friend is sucking her dry....

Abou tXeia agreeing to it as true is surprising....but u will have to ask her on this...i never forbidden her anything....or told her that she is not allowed...etc... I did tell her i dislike it that she is in contact with a hypocrite and emotional manipulator like you.

A short addition:

[4.1.2011 19:46:48] Rok: do u have a desire to talk with other man in a seductive way?
[4.1.2011 19:47:12] Xeia: no
[4.1.2011 19:47:35] Rok: are u absolutely sure that u are deciding based on what u want and feel?
[4.1.2011 19:48:02] Rok: i dont want to be J no2 ....i dont want to put chains on you
[4.1.2011 19:49:11] Xeia: i am already chained to you
[4.1.2011 19:49:29] Rok: i meant...i do not want my personal desires to limit yours

I told you Neo....2 times...that i am not unconditional. Do you need me to draw it for you? I also told u i never forbid her anything...i simply tell her what i dislike...so again...her agreeing to Fumandas filth (what she wrote) is a mystery that Xeia would have to explain....

Neo2012 Wed Jan 12, 2011 7:14 pm

Neo2012

Neo2012: Posts : 73
Join date : 2010-10-01

Post n°63

ahh the mysteries...

Neo2012 Wed Jan 12, 2011 7:14 pm

I told you Neo....2 times...that i am not unconditional. Do you need me to draw it for you? I also told u i never forbid her anything...i simply tell her what i dislike...so again...her agreeing to Fumandas filth (what she wrote) is a mystery that Xeia would have to explain....

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah...I heard that. We've all heard you! Two times? Hmm your words echo through eternity my friend!

As far as Fumanda goes, your lucky you can hide behind a monitor and keyboard that cowardly affords you the opportunity to demean and be verbally abusive towards woman...calling her a bitch, and saying she speaks filth from her mouth... Makes you quite the man doesn't it? -

Its obvious your eyes and brain has become lethargic and dull. You are looking Pale my friend? Are you feeling sick? -

"Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself."

Philip Larkin (1922-1985)
This Be The Verse

"They fuck you up, your mum and dad
They may not mean to, but they do
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man
it deepens like a coastal shelf
Get out as early as you can
And don't have any kids yourself."

Thats for your calling my friend a bitch, you filthy maggot! Go on...get out of here dork! And, don't come back, no more, no more, unless your willing to repent, unless your willing to accept the "Real Logos" and reflect that in your life, by actions, not by words.

Goodmorning, GoodAfternoon, and Goodnight!

Last edited by Neo2012 on Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:50 am; edited 1 time in total

Guest Wed Jan 12, 2011 7:24 pm

Guest

Guest: Guest

Post n°64

Re: Introspection

Guest Wed Jan 12, 2011 7:24 pm

Neo2012 wrote:

As far as Fumanda goes, your lucky you can hide behind a monitor and keyboard that cowardly affords you the opportunity to demean and be verbally abusive towards woman...calling her a bitch, and saying she speaks filth from her mouth... Makes you quite the man doesn't it? -

She is a bitch.

But sure...u can play tough and defend her

Lola Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:02 am

Lola

Lola: Posts : 65
Join date : 2010-10-01

Post n°65

Introspection...Revisited...Observations from a Bitch

Lola Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:02 am

I would like to talk about the duality of life:

For how can we speak of goodness without fully comprehending evil?

How can we appreciate courage without understanding fear?

And how can we speak of love without feeling and KNOWING hate?

And desire? How can we desire without giving?

Should we not Give what we Desire?

Yes....Should we not GIVE what we Desire?

I give to you now...an explanation...not one of defense or retaliation or misunderstandings but one of love.... I want to talk about love....

Feeling love, Finding Love, Fueling Love, Holding on to Love...Understanding and Nurturing Love...Losing Love...Fighting for Love...

more to come...

Love....

Bitchy--

Lola Thu Jan 13, 2011 4:40 pm

Lola

Lola: Posts : 65
Join date : 2010-10-01

Post n°66

Duality of Self...Introspection...For Rok, Xeia & Neo/Murky Waters of Love...

Lola Thu Jan 13, 2011 4:40 pm

As an appetizer...I begin with a poem... This is for you Rok...

From the Heart of XEIA...and the Mouth of LOLA...

Today...I understand one thing...

From this day forward, I will start anew...

And you...still there, a ghost

As if I were transparent...

Wishing I could run away, Wishing the Earth would open up and swallow me whole...

And yet...

I stay here...

Immovably able to detach myself from you...

Unable to eliminate, to erase every moment the wind brought to us as a gift...

Without able to live, to breathe...

As if? We were never in love?

I will survive! Don't ask me how! Living! Trapped in this duality of love and conformity, passion and routine, despair and glory at the sound of your voice!

Will I feel different tomorrow? Will I forget you? Erase your name?

For now...here I am...unable to move, unable to breathe,

Unable to get Bored of you!

Unable to scream..

Come! Stay! Don't Leave Me Here in the Nothing! In the Empty! Don't Abandon Me!

WHY am I writing this Xeia?

Because I understand you...Because I too have felt alone yet without loneliness ...despairing in murky, macabre and sinister waters of love...painful love, consuming love...Ahh but at the same time, glorious love, enlightening love, innocent love, all inspiring love!

Because I see through your torment! Trapped in the duality of love and philosophy, feeling and practice, theory and fact, conjecture, choices, limitations and illumination...

Because I too have been a victim of Ego! Ahh...those evil gremlins, ever present...waiting in the shadows for the perfect opportunity to strike... unknowingly, surprisingly...formulating an uprising, an internal war in your subconscious...

Truth? What is truth? Well, as I interpret it...It is simply this...

You have found a family in this Thuban Group...Ahhh...And what a wonderful philosophy it is, indeed! Utopia....equality among man and beast...Peace among torment, Eden on Earth, No Limitations between space and time, Metamorphosis and Unity between what is human and and what is mythology...

Your sensitive nature, your quest for answers and need for "something more" "something better" draws you here....

And so...You engage in beautiful, THEORETICAL discussions of love, free love, unconditional love with Tony, Susan, Raven and all those wonderful people in your circle....

You welcome the theory, engage in it, live it, and adopt it as your own...

And all is well and good......UNTIL.....Theory collides with practice....

You meet Rok...

Oh and he IS charming, isn't he? Charismatic! Engaging! Upfront! Intelligent! Strong Willed! Conflicted! Stubborn! Physically Attractive!

Human...a complete package...full of courage and fear, pride and ego, vulnerability...

And here is one more descriptive... Accommodating...

Yes, Xeia...He is accommodating...because of you...to please YOU...He is trying you see, for you...not because this is who he is...this is not his true self...

His true self shunned the idea, rejected its principles and its implications...

The theory simply does not live up to the reality....

This is your theory, your beliefs, and he is simply trying to fit into your model...for YOU, Xeia...

What do you want from him, XEIA...Think! What do you want!!! For him to accept you? How?... If this goes against his ideas, his convictions, his true core self...

And isn't this what attracted you in the first place? He challenges you, Xeia...He confronts you...he is compassionate towards you...and he sees through you...manipulation is easy when the heart is exposed...

You must make a choice, between your theory and your heart...
Between your ego, newfound ideals, and your broken spirit...

It was instant for you, Xeia? Right? Something about this boy got to you...Yes, because he didn't cower, he didn't submit, and he gave you wings, Xeia...

He gave you enough rope...and you hung yourself with it...

You spoke out of both sides of your mouth Xeia...You spoke free love...then expected unconditional love...You asked questions that ran contrary to your theory...Do you love me? Why don't you love me? etc.. And I can only imagine him saying...I don't know...Or I love you all, yet none is special, none matters more than the other...

He didn't profess his LOVE for you, Xeia...Why should he? Exclusivity? There is no such thing as exclusivity in enlightened love, now is there?

Ahhhhh the murky waters of theory and an involved heart....

So...you've been talking to Rok for a year....

Got...interesting should we say....about 2 months ago...

I am sure, the Thuban family is well versed in the Rok & Xeia soap opera and eagerly awaits the next episode...

Then comes NEO....the plot thickens...

Rekindled friendship, sexual fantasies, "sexy chats", so on and so on...

OH OH....

In comes, Lola/Fumanda/Alexandria (oh my God! So many names, I am a schizophrenic!!!)

Just call me Flamingo.....

Or...otherwise known as the girl YOU "have to help" "see the light" "find the path"

And here I thought, you invited me into this group b/c you thought I had something to bring to table...b/c my ideas, though seemingly disagreeable would spark a debate....Hmmmmm....

Condescending? Indeed....So, as I see it...I too was accommodating...

BUT....You misunderstood my motives in all of this, Xeia....

When I disagreed with "the sexy chats" I did so, not because I was jealous, envious, or resentful...

I did so in principal...

You see, I believe a man must make love to the mind, before he makes love to the woman...

Neo's expressions to you...his sexual fantasies and descriptions thereof were offensive to me...Are you a piece of meat? Was he feeding of you to suit his ego?

Neo should have respected your bond, your history, your friendship, and "restrained" his sexual energies...kept them at bay...as a form of decorum, as good measure...

Trust me, I don't have to have a man be explicit with his words in order for me to know he is undressing me with his eyes...A man should use intelligence and charisma not vulgarity...

That was wrong of Neo...

And You...Self righteous...with vanity lash back at Rok saying that YOU are Mother Earth and He doesn't Own You and YOU will do as you please....

Mother Earth is NOT this....she is welcoming, she is humble/modest...she is peaceful...she is poise...she shows the path and lets others choose...

Too much ego....their is NO ego in this Eden....

Rok...How dare you post those skype chats...underhanded, sneaky, vile, "brain fart" my friend...there are ways to get your point across without beating people of the head with it...Shame on You!

Xeia...Who are you to change anyone...me...Rok...

Neo...Who made you a prophet? God Almighty himself...There are ways to defend yourself, your integrity and righteousnesses without resorting to egoism...Life has made you hard, baby...You have so much to be proud of...Self made, self taught, you have re invented yourself...you are resilient despite adversity...

Don't you see?

This is what it is all about! All of us have intrinsic value...We all have something to offer...We could all learn from each other...Earn respect, don't demand it...Offer a road, do not impose it...Give love, don't expect it...so that it may be given freely....

Like Susan's double rainbow....Just think...beautiful souls flowing upwards while seeing one's own reflection in the lake...This is who we are, North and South, Perfection and Impurity...

As for me...my apology is sincere...for not communicating my resentment...for not illuminating how it is I see you...for not keeping the gremlins at bay...

For seeing hate where there should be love....

Rok...I love your resolute mind
Xeia...I love your kind and generous heart
Neo...I love your resilience

Duality of Self....

For without all this hatred, and contempt...

There could not exist this profound appreciation for such motivational, inspirational, souls as yourself...

Sincerely,

Flamingo....

Didymos Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:03 pm

Didymos

Didymos: Posts : 794
Join date : 2010-05-20
Location : Queanbeyan, NSW, Australia

Post n°67

Re: Introspection

Didymos Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:03 pm

The Pink Flamingo of Lara Antares

The Pink Flamingo as the Mixture of the Betwixtness of the Red of Love of the Body and the White of the Love of the Spirit

The Black Flamingo of the AntiSpirit awaiting its own Dawn in the Shadow of the Sunset
Can They be as One - the White Spirit of the Light of the Scorpion and the Black Spirit of the Antilight of the Phoenix?

...
You pretty pink flamingo, wading by across the shores of longings, bubbling all adrift;
if you'd just fathom the inner essence of your glory, your ecstacy would come so swift.
Upon the wings of Solomon, you shall find the Dragon's daughter's passage to be free;
oh sweet remembrance of the days of old, Maria of Jerusalem has found her lost key.

The name of the Mother's poem is your own; your courting troubadour so fit to see;
a dawning of love's joy in all is splendour, so devoted and wondrously in wait for thee!
{Composed by the tripartite One: Logan Antico of Arndale; Robert Sceptico of Jones and Tony WhyNot}
aka Tonyblue

Neo2012 Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:29 pm

Neo2012

Neo2012: Posts : 73
Join date : 2010-10-01

Post n°68

To Xeia

Neo2012 Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:29 pm

XEIA - January 12 at 12:07pm

http://birthofgaia.heavenforum.org/t103p60-the-archetyped-cosmogenesis-of-the-human-metamorphosis#1842
This was my response to his post #38

What do you think?

Love,

Xeia♥

I think Rok should know better and the more we interact the more it becomes evident that he is untrained!

For if he had any real knowledge he wouldn't be walking about making noise like a baby!

However, we should spare his life for the SIGN is clear; he has a strong heart and can be trained.

My message to Rok is simple Xeia....learn or die. That's coming from the heart!

Mother interprets the will of Eywa for us, but we have to listen, and learn....BE QUITE...BE STILL...or be killed.

Who is Eywa? Eywas is Our Deity, made up of all Living things, Our God!

Who is mother? Tsahik? She is our Astrial Sky that speaks to us, interpreting the will of Eywas.

See, Rok, you speak of Aries, and Libra, and the Cosmos, the Logos, as like something you would read off a chart or a Horoscope or a book and then go about like a baby making noise and being pretentions like if you had any understaning of the things you say when in reality you are completely blind.

And, its okay, let's be honest! You are blind! And, Fumanda, your words are beautiful, you also possess a very strong heart and it is admirable!

However, you've yet to connect all the pieces of the puzzle together! Your guessing what it is, some of it clear to you, some of it is not! But, you are sincere and in tune with your inner self and that is beautiful! You are not lying to your self, your are not pretentious! You are pure! Also, beautiful! And, it is the very thing that attracts me to you!

However, Rok, you do not see Xeia!

And Fumanda is definetly trying to see! However, for you Rok, it seems as if Xeia is some sort of experiment to you, in fact in many ways i think you're still a bit skeptic as you voice out "I am not unconditional" twice, three times!

Let's clear this out in the air people. Unconditional love is LOVE in its purest form! It exists and it is attainable to all of us to experience it, own it, and live accordingly to it! Is the way of god.

See, doesn't Nature produce fruits for all of us to eat whether we've done wicked things or been extraordinary good? -

Fumanda, you speak of rainbows? Do only those who do good dees see rainbows? - Or do even those who kill, murder, rape, and do atrosities see it too? -

Hmm interesting? huh? - Unconditional love, darling!

So, why are we so partial? So, selfish? So, possesive in saying, Wait thats MY Rainbow! God made this for ME! Me! Me! Me! Only Me! Everyone else should close their eyes and not see this, feel, or touch this, it belongs to me!

Who sees a woman or a man as a piece of meat, or possession? Is it not the one who claims to love thee conditionally? -

I love you as long as you agree to belong to me! Conditions! What happens when that person dies? Who are the surving person going to love now? - On, it doesn't matter to you right cause your dead, so, now, who cares! Right? -

Uncontionally means we understand that we don't BELONG just to eachother, although we may CHOOSE to share ourselves only with ONE person, we can also choose to share ourselves with others, and should be loved and respected no differently for we area all part of something greater then ourselves a part of a collective.

In addition, while their is nothing wrong with sharing ourselves, theirs nothing wrong with exclusiveness either...it is a choice not a right!

Rok, you are strong hearted yes, but ignorant and stupid too!

I am writing to you because you are one of those people MOTHER WARNED "ME" about too just like you said to Xeia...how's that for a change? -

I am a Cancer of the 1st Decan and this particulary makes things affect more powerfully than a normal Cancer. And, I am very well aware of my unique Astro configurations although I enjoy burrying myself in the ground and not come forth unless I choose to go public with my wisdom!

In fact, let me just tell you, and perhaps Tony could assert this about me (himself) if he was to examine my Astral Sky....in it its writen very clear that I would meet one particular person that will throw harmful influences over certain aspects of my life. And, that I would meet this person in a place wich is off my normal map but that this offered a trap, and I would be tried from the very onset. The trap being efforts to seduce my positive energies and attempting to wield a very negative influence over me. And, the suggestion from MOTHER was to absolutely avoid this path! But, I choice was to comfront you, because the Astral Sky is only a guide, in the end our free will determines what actions we choose to take and the wisdom to understand why we made that choice!

Among all these other Cancers I am a very rare individual Rok and I know how to benefit from Astrial influences whether negative or positive, I will the Universe in my favor!

And, let me tell you about something else Rok, I've always felt certain vibrations, very strongly as far as Xeia and I are concearned and Xeia has always felt them too. If you think carefully, you will see that nature is ALL about exchanges of energy; birth, life, reproduction and death...I am simply in tune with this flow of energy and these with only few details about you, Xeia, Fumanda, myself included, i can simply read into the knowledge which is available all around us. And, I use these particular sensitivies to confirm or deny my "own" astral calculations and I can tell you that's been a very useful technique to me!

Nature is made up of vibrations and emotions, and these emotions and these vibrations can send powerful messages to those that are able to listen, you may have heard of the term "astral fluid" before and this is precisely what it is; a powerful, all encompassing flow of ever changing natural energy which simply needs to be tapped into.

I'll even go further, see, I knew of this particular person in my Astral Sky, but who this person actually was still a mistery until I posted my first post on Heaven and you responded with Boooo Whooo! At that moment you confirmed my calculations where correct! And, from that moment on I made a choice, a choice that's lead me to the next Revelation, which I know will reveal to YOU ...Xeia.

The month of January starts with a very unique event, an event during which a Lunar Eclipse will occur on exactly the same day as a rare conjunction between Jupiter and Uranus, a event which will not occur again for another 12 years. After which their will also be 6 more seperate eclipses over 2011, unique Jupiter transits (12 year events) and a very strong influence of Venus which will have repercussions on my love life.

And one event with particular strong affects represented by very unique Transit which will bring Neptune into my star sign and which will not happen again for the next 169 years; the time that this particular planet cycles through the 12 Zodiac Signs.

And let's not forget the movement of minor planets such as Pluto which will influence me over the long term and which will provoke important changes in my financial situation, not that this is any of your business...my point being is...now, do you see why I say you are just a child in my eyes? Is not my Ego talking darling!

But, that's not all because when I picked up my configuration I felt an instant vibration and a very powerful flash which suggests to me that not only will I be one of the lucky ones over this year (Cancer of the 1st decan) but that something even more powerful will affect me.

Yes, Fumanda and Xeia are clearly seeing in my Astral Sky... ( A my about right now, meddling enough for you Rok, airs of Aries?)

See, when I analysed my astral sky, and TONY you could probably analyse this yourslelf if you'd like, my configuration is based around my date of birth 23 June 1972, blace of birth Cuba, time of birth about 6:30 am. I discovered that something truly exceptional will happen to me in 2011.

To be a little more precise; I will witness 4 separate events, each of which will have a powerful impact on my life.
And, by pursuing my study I was able to determine the periods around which these events will occur:

- the 4th January

- between the 22nd January and the 4th of June

- the 11th of March

- Early summer, which is to say the beginning of the month of July

In each of these periods a very unusual and special event will occur and it will have repercussions for me in this year of 2011 of course but also for the rest of my life.

Where a my getting at??? --

Xeia - 2011 will bring someone back into my life and this person will help me to move forward too. This seems to be someone who was once very important for me but we both grew apart. Certain astral elements disrupted our relationship but I am sure that in 2011 this negative influence will lift like a thick fog and you and I will be able to rediscover a new vision of our relationship together.

Fumanda - Similarly, you are truly in a life changing position in 2011 and our connection is one of many positive vibrations as well. And, it will have strong influeces in you and me with reprecurshions and significant changes in your life. You can already feel these vibrations and this energy. This will be a very astrological active year for all of us!

My final words for Rok are in the following pictures....and see!

We must be re-born to find our place! And, know our place in order to take our place as part of the people!

Realize your dreams, know your place, and above all be true to your self!

Last edited by Neo2012 on Thu Jan 13, 2011 12:56 pm; edited 2 times in total

Last edited by Neo2012 on Fri Feb 11, 2011 11:51 am; edited 3 times in total

Allisiam Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:46 pm

Allisiam

Allisiam: Posts : 103
Join date : 2010-05-17
Location : The Mirror of the Infinite

Post n°69

Re: Introspection

Allisiam Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:46 pm

Dream of Rok 1-11-2011 My mother's birthday.

Layed down for a nap around 5:30 pm until 8:00 pm and had this dream.....

We were all at Rok's house. There was Tony, Xeia, Me and my daughter and Rok's brothers were there, two of them. Also his father. I had come from picking up Carla at school. The house was huge, mansion like. When you went inside it felt like being inside an elaborate cave.

It was getting dark outside and the inside of the house echoed the setting sun in cold light reflecting off all the old wood and brown colors. The furnishings were not overly done, elegant yet antique. The living room had white cushioned victorian chairs and sofa and thick long shaggy marroon carpet, it seemed brighter then the rest of the house.

Rok's mother was coming home soon and he was cleaning things up in a hurry before his mom came. Throwing buckets of water onto this low pile brown carpet in the kitchen and mopping it up. I remember trying to navigate the puddles of water, trying not to get my feet wet thinking it was very odd for him to be cleaning the carpet this way. The kitchen was huge and had a really nice big stove and oven, almost industrial sized.

All of us were helping Rok and his family pick things up. It was made known to us by them that if the house wasn't spotless when his mom got home that she would be very unhappy with them. They seemed to be concerned that it was to her liking so there would be no yelling when she returned.

After we finished with that, Tony, Rok , Xeia and I were all sitting in the kitchen, talking and laughing. Tony was telling Rok about a secret bread recipie and how to make it. Rok thought it would be fun to make and started to prepare it while the rest of us visited.

He was busy rolling the dough and shaping it into two circles and Tony was telling us the story behind the bread recipie and how it was a magical bread. Rok was laughing and listening while shaping this dough, giggling to himself about the possible consequences.

He shaped the dough into two coencentric rings, a large outer ring and a smaller inner ring. He then made some kind of lettering to the right of the rings. In the dream I saw these words clearly and they were frosted with green, but I cannot remember what it said now. I was laughing as I read them though and thinking how funny and witty Rok was.

He was grinning mischeiviously and giggling to himself as we all looked at the dough shapes and words in the pan. Tony commented that Rok had done a splendid job of creating the dough and he seemed quite impressed with how it turned out.

He baked off the dough and then Tony told us that only Xeia and I would eat the bread. It was some kind of bread only for women, but made by men.

Almost immediatly after eating the bread I became delerious and could not stand up. I was laughing and my vision was blurry and the room seemed to spin and loose focus. Xeia didn't seem to be as effected by it as me, she was standing fine but laughing at me and pointing as she watched me stumble. We were all giggling and laughing about it. Tony and Rok seemed to be amused with both of us.

Tony was commenting that the bread had done its job but that I would need to be looked after for a bit. All of you were concerned for me as I had to drive home and it was dark and getting late. Xeia and Tony had to get going and they said their goodbyes to me and Rok, telling him to take care of me and he assured them he would. They both hugged me goodbye and Xeia said I was in capable hands and not to worry, that Rok wouldn't let me go without making sure I was ok. Tony told Rok to wait until the effects wore off a bit before letting me drive myself home.

After they left I asked Rok to gather my things and get my daughter. I was still feeling woosey and it seemed as if I was missing some clothes. I could not hear well and it felt as if I was in a tunnel and his voice was far away. He left to do this for me but didn't return and so I searched the house for him. I found him in his room laying on his bed and he asked me if i felt ok to drive and I said that I thought so.

He got up from the bed and came towards me and looked me in the eyes, then he embraced me very lovingly and apologized that the bread effected me so much, he was concerned. We held each other tightly, and he was caressing me and rubbing me and i was doing the same. I could feel his erection underneath his pajama pants and he also felt it touch me at the same time. He squeezed me tighter pressing himself into me and was kissing me on the face and neck and shoulders.

Then suddenly he pushed away from me, realising that Xeia would not be happy with us for the display of affection. He didn't tell me this outloud, but thats what we both felt, it was like an unspoken knowing between us. But we were magnetically attracted in that moment and he embraced me again, as if he knew he would not get the chance again and held me gently and lovingly.

We both wanted each other very much , there was a devouring energy that neither of us could resist and we moaned and sighed during our embrace and exchanged a long goodbye like we didn't want to forget the moment. I knew Rok then and he knew me, from long ago and it was like two old friends finding each other at long last, this was the feeling we had. We did not want to end the hug, but the guilt over Xeia compelled both of us to break the trance.

He showed me to the door and I saw Carla beside me and he wished me a safe journey home. My car was only about 10 feet from the door and I felt that I could make it there, but was still feeling lightheaded and disoriented. I started to walk to the car but became lost, walking up the hill of the driveway and out onto the road, Carla was holding my hand, just following me. I could not think to remember which way my car was and I was getting worried I wouldn't find it, because it was too far to walk home and very cold.

I was wandering around lost and dizzy. I finally found the path back to the driveway and house. I knocked on the door again and Rok brought me in and asked me what happened. I told him that I could not find my car, and he said wow that bread must of really gotten to you, your car is right there sweety, and he pointed to my car.

I felt silly and we giggled and he embraced me again. This time I felt him trembling and he was inhaling the scent of my hair, stroking my face tenderly and looking into my eyes as if he wished not to forget these moments with me. I felt his erection press against me again and it was throbbing and we both ached for each other. But Carla was there and he knew I had to get her home, so he walked me to the car this time to make sure I found it.

We said our goodbyes and I drove off up the driveway and the sun was coming up, as it hit my eyes I woke up.

[7:30:48 AM] Ishtara Raven: i feel rok is trying to get to know me on a soul level and his ideas of xeia are inhibiting that, as it is for me, the jealousy shit
[7:36:50 AM] Tonyblue: manna from heaven kundalini from above why you both got horny
[7:37:20 AM] Tonyblue: logos showing you poly is the new law and Xeia's 1-1- is old
[7:37:33 AM] Ishtara Raven: yes i felt this
[7:38:23 AM] Ishtara Raven: and i felt that rok has this longing, but he is afraid of hurting Xeia
[7:38:39 AM] Tonyblue: yes and Xeia's ideas of exclusivity are misplaced
[7:39:42 AM] Tonyblue: everyones choice of course
[7:39:49 AM] Tonyblue: but NOT Logos
[7:40:08 AM] Tonyblue: but i have explained the logic enough now no more

Last night while searching the freeyellow forum I found this diagram and it triggered another dream 1-12-2011

Introspection - Page 3 Concentricity

[7:26:51 AM] Ishtara Raven: this triggered a dream for me last night
[7:27:01 AM] Ishtara Raven: and for a while i was the Logos
[7:27:18 AM] Ishtara Raven: in the dream, watching myself dream as Raven lol
[7:27:40 AM] Tonyblue: yes important dream more to do with the present trransitions than the future though
[7:28:52 AM] Ishtara Raven: in my dream last night i remembered myself as Logos
[7:29:11 AM] Ishtara Raven: i was the singularity
[7:29:28 AM] Tonyblue: ok good
[7:29:30 AM] Ishtara Raven: watching my life as Raven
[7:29:52 AM] Tonyblue: yes excellent

[7:47:40 AM] Ishtara Raven: [7:44 AM] Tonyblue:

<<< Its not so much an interpretation thing Raven this is a mandala. Its something to 'ponder' meditate on >>>

and yes i did this and it triggered last nights dream of seeing myself on the other side of the equation as Logos watching my life as Raven

[7:53:50 AM] Tonyblue: Sophia Nous is femme
[7:54:02 AM] Tonyblue: Knowledge Wisdom is male
[7:57:15 AM] Tonyblue: its for the dragon babies
[7:57:42 AM] Tonyblue: 16 year old drawing
[7:57:44 AM] Ishtara Raven: well in its simplicity it triggered me
[7:57:49 AM] Tonyblue: see
[7:58:05 AM] Tonyblue: angels elements the 7 heavens of Ptolemy
[7:58:28 AM] Tonyblue: as principle and the 5 archons of the Apocryphon

Didymos Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:52 pm

Didymos

Didymos: Posts : 794
Join date : 2010-05-20
Location : Queanbeyan, NSW, Australia

Post n°70

Re: Introspection

Didymos Thu Jan 13, 2011 5:52 pm

Aye, aye, aye!

The terrible twins of the Mother in the 1st Decan of Cancer.

No wonder that the Gaian Mother; who does not warn of the paths of danger but advises their exploration following the gatherings of their implications; has spoken to you Neo!
You became her Lover Neo - Big SheBang took You as You like to be taken. She has intoxicated You and You shall understand in time, times of your own choosing.

The bond between you and Xeia indeed is strong and potent.
Both of you have engaged in the sharing of the Mother's Wisdoms.
Both of You have become entangled in the Web of Arachne; centered on the solar occultation of the Capricornian Father.

Both of You are doing well as the Reflections of the Nous.

The Circle of the Family is extending in Lola and in Rok and in all of Us here and everywhere.

Who is the Gorgeous One in the Mirrors of Wonderland?
The Sleeping One!

You have shared some true gnosis here Neo.

Tonyblue

Didymos Thu Jan 13, 2011 8:14 pm

Didymos

Didymos: Posts : 794
Join date : 2010-05-20
Location : Queanbeyan, NSW, Australia

Post n°71

Oh Venus-----Suspicious Minds!-----I'll Follow The Sun-----True Love Cosmic-----Demon Lover-----No More!

Didymos Thu Jan 13, 2011 8:14 pm

[7:12:52 AM] Ishtara Raven:
[12:34:48 PM] Ishtara Raven: rok replied to me, i am gonna forwar the email tony
[12:35:03 PM] Tonyblue: ok
[12:35:25 PM] Ishtara Raven: sent to pacificap
[12:35:30 PM] Ishtara Raven: i am reading it now, its long
[12:35:33 PM] Tonyblue: why not here?
[12:35:39 PM] Ishtara Raven: too long
[12:36:03 PM] Tonyblue: ok
[12:48:43 PM] Tonyblue: well yes i read it
[12:48:53 PM] Ishtara Raven: well rok is really upset
[12:49:29 PM] Tonyblue: rok sees the situation as most if not all would including me at this stage of ones incarnation.
[12:49:39 PM] Ishtara Raven: and i am not sure if i read it right, but that he wishes us to share this email with xeia?
[12:49:47 PM] Tonyblue: I cant say anything here to make sense to him.
[12:50:10 PM] Tonyblue: This is getting far too 3d BS drama stuff for me raven.
[12:50:32 PM] Tonyblue: see Rok saying i am contradicting myself shows he has little idea what i am trying to share
[12:50:39 PM] Ishtara Raven: yes
[12:51:01 PM] Tonyblue: I am saying i dont know the physicality manifesting in the polyamory
[12:51:02 PM] Ishtara Raven: so in fact he has understood little
[12:51:12 PM] Tonyblue: I am NOT saying i dont know what this is!!!
[12:51:38 PM] Tonyblue: what it is is made clear by the Logos not me, not you, not fucked up humanity or ascended masters or ETs
[12:52:02 PM] Tonyblue: There is NO marriage in the New World!!
[12:52:13 PM] Tonyblue: How the fuck he and Sui and Lola interpret this?
[12:52:26 PM] Tonyblue: there is choice there must be
[12:52:45 PM] Tonyblue: But this is INDIVIDUAL choice NOT Logos-Gaia choice
[12:53:04 PM] Tonyblue: its all fucking sex hangups of looking for the perfect soulmate or whatever
[12:53:09 PM] Ishtara Raven: yes well right now the emotions are too high and they are all reading shit into this so much so that they've missed the point. neo sees it
[12:53:11 PM] Tonyblue: the perfect soulmate is YOURSELF
[12:53:16 PM] Ishtara Raven: yep
[12:53:30 PM] Tonyblue: lol
[12:53:36 PM] Tonyblue: so i made the point
[12:53:51 PM] Tonyblue: as said I to Sui and all of you the world is not ready for this
[12:54:02 PM] Tonyblue: it destroys THEIR HUMAN DREAMS see
[12:54:12 PM] Ishtara Raven: indeed
[12:54:29 PM] Tonyblue: so i should post this lol
[12:54:55 PM] Ishtara Raven: but then as you said to me before, this is not my dream, its the logos and the greatest sacrafice is to let go of your own personal shit, in leu of that
[12:55:42 PM] Tonyblue: Yes and we should stop this here because further communique is at this point pointless
[12:56:09 PM] Tonyblue: Raven it is important now NOT to discuss this further.
[12:56:24 PM] Ishtara Raven: yes i totally get that
[12:56:32 PM] Tonyblue: Because data has been given and it is simply too hard to process
[12:56:55 PM] Ishtara Raven: i am at a loss as to how to reply, so my first thinking on it is to just let them work this out and retreat
[12:57:10 PM] Tonyblue: I feel for Rok because I chased the Human Dream too with intensity and i am double his age.
[12:57:45 PM] Tonyblue: I remember how i fought the Walsh Book notions about 'marriage' as i was myself 'hopelessly in love' with Veronica
[12:58:30 PM] Ishtara Raven: as did we all tony, i feel him too and he is faced with himself at such a young age to discover that this soulmate shit is just that...pure bullshit..
[12:58:46 PM] Tonyblue: I thought to myself there MUST BE the 1-1, I rejected that part of the 'Conservations with God' as Rok does now - I understand and wish to not crerate more pains of the heart as already done in the sagas.
[12:59:06 PM] Tonyblue: Yes and I shall post this and sign it.
[12:59:24 PM] Tonyblue: No more 'marriage counsellings' raven - for now do you agree?
[12:59:38 PM] Ishtara Raven: yes tony, agreed
[12:59:48 PM] Tonyblue: So dont call me on this again!
[12:59:56 PM] Tonyblue: I have said my piece!
[1:00:16 PM] Tonyblue: main channel only no more intimacies
[1:00:36 PM] Ishtara Raven: edit your typos tony ok?
[1:00:38 PM] Tonyblue: main channel as usual everything goes publically.
[1:00:57 PM] Tonyblue: yes if you like
[1:01:05 PM] Tonyblue: But I have to post it
[1:01:08 PM] Ishtara Raven: just so nothing is misunderstood
[1:01:28 PM] Ishtara Raven: oh i thought you meant post it on the forum as a reply
[1:01:31 PM] Tonyblue: thanks send it to me email and then i post it
[1:01:40 PM] Tonyblue: i look for a pertinent addendum
[1:01:53 PM] Ishtara Raven: ok i will edit it for you, give me a few
[1:02:12 PM] Tonyblue: sure

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eY3ogph71c&feature=related
Mariska Veres, My 'Great Love' of the 1970's - Sexy Gypsy Chick of Bluey Shockers!
{October 10th, 1947 - December 2nd, 2006; 59=Dragon Years}

Mariska Veres (

pronunciation (help·info)) (1 October 1947 - 2 December 2006) was a Dutch singer who was best known as the lead singer of the rock group Shocking Blue. Her appearance was striking, featuring kohl cosmetic-lined eyes, high cheekbones, and long jet black wig.
When she joined Shocking Blue she made it clear to the other band members that romantic relationships were not going to happen.^[1]

{Comment by Tonyblue: Smart Girl! No She was Mine, just mine and mine and mine!}

Veres was born in The Hague. Her father was the Hungarian Romani violinist Lajos Veres; her mother was born in Germany of French and Russian parents. Her elder sister Ilonka accompanied her father on the piano.^[1] Her youngest sister, Irene, never had a career in music.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariska_Veres

Tonyblue

Last edited by Didymos on Thu Jan 13, 2011 10:05 pm; edited 13 times in total

Guest Thu Jan 13, 2011 8:21 pm

Guest

Guest: Guest

Post n°72

Re: Introspection

Guest Thu Jan 13, 2011 8:21 pm

Please...if you paste a chat about my mail also paste the mail

The replay:
-----------------

I refuse to believe Neo has anything to do with Logos or MM.... His private exchanges and vanity default deny any of his "light" that he is posting on the forum. His last post that includes Avatar material is ...distasteful....it it clear that Xeia somehow told him....either just now...or before in the chats. It includes her view of how do i fit into Avatar...something that i never fully agreed with. I am anything but what Jake Sully represents in the movie as human...etc Neo can not know this by himself. Him using it is a manipulation tactic and not some higher message. Tony should know this by now...he had enough personal contact with him himself. I no longer care what he posts....for me he is just a fraud and this is not my emotional possessiveness or anything but simply my ability to recognize a fake when i see it. If Neo would be someone that would prove of benefit to Xeia i would never talk to him the way i do and i would never tell Xeia to not talk to him. But given that he is not...Neo should just simply go suck a fuck.

I was actually defending her in the thread....i responded after she was all upset because of something Neo wrote on the forum...she was untill 4 or 5 am her time just to answer him...and my good morning gift from her was her "Spanish blood".....when she gets like that...she can get into troubles (censored). I wont go into details here. I know she dislikes it even for mentioning what i just did. I am 4200 miles away from her...i am not "fighting" for exclusivity or anything...i am there to keep her out of the drama since she has enough for herself. But if anyone thinks that is logos over there with Neo...than well...think again. I will no longer deal with Neo. It is not worth it...not after she herself fucks me up like that....fortunately i had a chat of me and her...discussing this....i actually needed "evidence" to show i am not what she agreed to.... Very very sad... And it is not the first time she cut in me so deep.... Yet i have to hear it from her....all various accusations oh how and what....constantly having to defend myself....

As far as Sui goes...i am tired of "don't tell her yet" or the same from her side. It is not secret that she does not agree fully with Tony and the other way around. Start talking to each other...i have enough of this. I am only willing to take shit from others when i am the cause for it... so ALL you Tony and Raven and Juli (is she will get to read this) get yourself in a room and resolve differences or just fuck each other goodbye if u cant be direct.....or are afraid you will provoke emotional reaction.

It is also not secret that i do not agree with all that Tony says...but i do tell him that. Like i told him before in group chat that Neo and MM is not something i agree with. In fact it is like elephant giving birth to a goat....does not compute

About MM....i remember Tony stating it is NOT the same for everyone and that he himself does not understand it. He also contradicted himself. He first says Xeia has barriers and than he says it is NOT the same for all and a day before he said he does not understand it himself...yet somehow Tony...you manage to know what it is not? As you said it.... How is that possible if you do not understand what it is?

About Xeia again (and do feel free to send her all of this) I told her that I am not here to make demands out from her or forbid her or anything. Thing is...if i do not say anything...she goes and starts telling me i don't care...etc I also tell her what i dislike...when she does or thinks something. I made myself very clear to her....but she seems not to listen and or read me for about half of the time (given her agreement to fumnadas writings as posted by neo on the forum).

She is completely and totally free. I am not doing anything to hold her back. If anyone is doing that it is (censored). But if we speak about cyber sex...than no one is holding her back. I do however tell her my mind...she asked me for this... So she know that if she is to undergo....what some term free love...she can do this anytime...but without me in the picture. Now if she accommodated just that i do not get away...i told her that is wrong. She said this is not the case and that she follows her heart.... I also made very clear to her i do not want to impose my personal view and desires on her and limit her....she than said she chained herself to me.... I NEVER said to her what the fuck ass of Neo is posting on the forum. He never touches himself or takes a look at himself....he just diverts attention, plays with words...acts all smart pasting Shakespeare...vomits his "clairvoyance", manipulates....and than he is MM? Sorry but no......

So Xeia can go...if she will feel liberated...and do all the stuff in accordance to how you see it Raven and Tony....and even Neo now or whatever....if she feels like doing it if that is what she truly wants.

I however will not. And this should not be a surprise. If it is than we have a big problem....

The only thing keeping me here at this moment is her book she sent me. In the book on the title page on white space is her words, written by her hand...sent to me...to discover by myself......it is the best thing she ever did.

Does not mean I reject thuban or you Tony...not at all. I like you Tony and you knows this. I also like you Raven and you also know this. Juli too does not reject thuban when she does not agree.

I am not sure what she is on to now...i did not see her online...she also did not respond as of yet on the forum...she made Neos thread sticky on the forum...also not sure why...i am extremely "lost" after seeing her view of me in Avatar movie in Neos post.... I talked to her yesterday and i made a few things clear to her....she did not take it well...but she never does..it is just who she is. I however was not out of line...but it is getting close to that.

I might not have the "deeper" understanding but i go by me...by being me....if that is not in agreement with the major consensus...fuck it... it is not the first time. There were many times i "stood alone"...and for now...i am still here...

The mail:
------------

On 13.1.2011 19:26, Ravensun Sungazer wrote:
> You went offline but i copy pasted this to your channel in skype, but its important, so didn't know if you would come back online sweety :)
>
>
>
> [11:08:00 AM] Tonyblue: Neo is coming out
> [11:08:03 AM] Ishtara Raven: [11:07:26 AM] Rok: is he than he used what she told him....
> [11:07:35 AM] Rok: it is not his logos it is what she told him
> [11:07:40 AM] Rok: and he used in a very.....
> [11:07:47 AM] Rok: well not futher comment needed
> [11:07:49 AM] Rok: thx raven
> [11:07:53 AM] Ishtara Raven: yw
> [11:08:13 AM] Tonyblue: he is becoming truthfulelr becasue of MM
> [11:08:40 AM] Ishtara Raven: rok thinks xeia is behind this and this isn't logos its xeia's influence
> [11:08:52 AM] Tonyblue: Rok enjoy the Theatre
> [11:09:02 AM] Tonyblue: no
> [11:09:15 AM] Tonyblue: Rok distance yourself from the thre of them
> [11:09:21 AM] Tonyblue: mentally my advice
> [11:09:32 AM] Ishtara Raven: and i don't agree here, even if xeia told neo some things, the logos is doing this
> [11:09:45 AM] Tonyblue: yers i feel the energy
> [11:09:58 AM] Tonyblue: did you show rok my comments?
> [11:10:22 AM] Ishtara Raven: yep just copy pasted them
> [11:10:24 AM] Tonyblue: of course xeia is talking to neo lol
> [11:10:33 AM] Tonyblue: its induced
> [11:10:45 AM] Tonyblue: Rok dont be emotional here it is fine
> [11:11:19 AM] Tonyblue: Xeia is a bitch like Lola ghere like 2 girls in highschool remember giggling..
> [11:11:19 AM] Ishtara Raven: he has gone off line
> [11:11:31 AM] Ishtara Raven: he is pissed and did not see what i copy pasted yet
> [11:11:37 AM] Tonyblue: ok
> [11:12:15 AM] Tonyblue: rok is honourable but inexperienced
> [11:12:25 AM] Ishtara Raven: yes as neo says
> [11:12:33 AM] Tonyblue: the femme mind
> [11:12:35 AM] Ishtara Raven: this is hard for rok to take, i understand
> [11:13:04 AM] Tonyblue: why rok shuls stop replying to neo see
> [11:13:07 AM] Ishtara Raven: but i think he will come out of it ok, he will think things through
> [11:13:15 AM] Tonyblue: he normally does
> [11:13:17 AM] Ishtara Raven: i told him this very thing yesterday
> [11:13:29 AM] Tonyblue: good share this with him
> [11:13:30 AM] Ishtara Raven: i said stop talking to him
> [11:13:45 AM] Tonyblue: so he sees or at least feels the male perspective besides yours
> [11:14:03 AM] Tonyblue: yes i know you see the big pics
> [11:14:46 AM] Tonyblue: neo's natural ego is very potent see
> [11:14:59 AM] Ishtara Raven: hehe yes, extremely
> [11:15:07 AM] Tonyblue: people ordinarily dont know how to handle this
> [11:15:08 AM] Ishtara Raven: but i always felt he was a bluey anyhow
> [11:15:21 AM] Tonyblue: well sexwise he is yes
> [11:15:32 AM] Ishtara Raven: i could see his underlying self, he does have some gnosis
> [11:15:37 AM] Ishtara Raven: from before i mean
> [11:15:43 AM] Ishtara Raven: reading through all his ego shit
> [11:15:44 AM] Tonyblue: why this MM stuff is rather interesting now
> [11:16:12 AM] Tonyblue: yes and MM or Gaia will show him from his sexdrive see
> [11:16:31 AM] Tonyblue: sui and Lola are lost in this
> [11:16:49 AM] Tonyblue: they dont understand the Lust factor neo does
> [11:17:06 AM] Ishtara Raven: no they are interpreting from the 3-D jealousys
> [11:17:13 AM] Tonyblue: the Shadow Flamingo
> [11:17:20 AM] Tonyblue: i tried to show this to them
> [11:17:28 AM] Tonyblue: yes
> [11:18:08 AM] Ishtara Raven: i am still sharing our convo with rok, even though he has gone offline
> [11:18:11 AM] Tonyblue: in a way see Neo has 'bewitched' them both Lola and Sui
> [11:18:17 AM] Tonyblue: thanks
> [11:18:24 AM] Tonyblue: BE CAREFUL ROK here
> [11:18:38 AM] Tonyblue: this info is sort of the deeper stuff
> [11:18:44 AM] Tonyblue: you might not be able to process
> [11:18:53 AM] Tonyblue: DONT WORRY
> [11:18:55 AM] Tonyblue: just allow the perspective
> [11:19:13 AM] Tonyblue: BE FREE
> [11:19:16 AM] Tonyblue: in MIND
> [11:19:31 AM] Tonyblue: message to Rok
> [11:19:55 AM] Tonyblue: sharing this with Sui is not advisable as yet
> [11:20:03 AM] Tonyblue: Because she is plying dramas
> [11:20:20 AM] Tonyblue: but when you feel appropriate share it with her by all means
> [11:20:35 AM] Tonyblue: just advise ok?
> [11:21:12 AM] Tonyblue: advice?
> [11:21:33 AM] Ishtara Raven: ok its all pasted over to his chat
> [11:21:46 AM] Tonyblue: I mean to relax him raven
> [11:21:53 AM] Ishtara Raven: but hasn't sent yet, i wonder what time it is over there
> [11:22:01 AM] Ishtara Raven: mabye i should send it to him in an email?
> [11:22:03 AM] Tonyblue: hmm
> [11:22:07 AM] Tonyblue: 5.22am here
> [11:22:21 AM] Tonyblue: subtract 9 hours
> [11:22:24 AM] Ishtara Raven: its like only 8pm there now
> [11:22:41 AM] Tonyblue: 10pm
> [11:22:42 AM] Ishtara Raven: yes he is 8 hours ahead of me
> [11:22:55 AM] Tonyblue: 9pm
> [11:22:58 AM] Tonyblue: depemds on DLS
> [11:23:12 AM] Tonyblue: OPz is 11 hours PLUS
> [11:23:16 AM] Tonyblue: GMT

----------------------------------------------------------

But you know what.....partly it is true that me being here in this discussion is "wrong" since i should just let Xeia to actually handle it the way she wants it...this includes ALL her other problems....

My apologies Neo...please do continue...i would prefer if you leave me out of it...i wont "bother" you anymore.

Guest Thu Jan 13, 2011 8:47 pm

Guest

Guest: Guest

Post n°73

Re: Introspection

Guest Thu Jan 13, 2011 8:47 pm

Allisiam wrote:[size=16]Dream of Rok 1-11-2011 My mother's birthday.

Layed down for a nap around 5:30 pm until 8:00 pm and had this dream.....

We were all at Rok's house. There was Tony, Xeia, Me and my daughter and Rok's brothers were there, two of them. Also his father. I had come from picking up Carla at school. The house was huge, mansion like. When you went inside it felt like being inside an elaborate cave.

I only have one brother. Also the rest of the things (not all are quoted) do not fit...but...it was a dream after all....

Allisiam Thu Jan 13, 2011 8:59 pm

Allisiam

Allisiam: Posts : 103
Join date : 2010-05-17
Location : The Mirror of the Infinite

Post n°74

Re: Introspection

Allisiam Thu Jan 13, 2011 8:59 pm

I only have one brother. Also the rest of the things (not all are quoted) do not fit...but...it was a dream after all....

Of course rok, it is a dream and symbolic in context. Perhaps the other brother is your soulmate, one of the 'lost boys' that Tony speaks about that don't get expressed in this life but remain incarnate :) I leave the interpretation of the dream symbols and archetypes up to you babe :)

In Lake'ch, Raven Introspection - Page 3 855103

**SuiGeneris** Thu Jan 13, 2011 10:38 pm

SuiGeneris

SuiGeneris: Posts : 977
Join date : 2010-05-16
Location : Gaia

Post n°75

Re: Introspection

SuiGeneris Thu Jan 13, 2011 10:38 pm

Allisiam wrote:Dream of Rok
He got up from the bed and came towards me and looked me in the eyes, then he embraced me very lovingly and apologized that the bread effected me so much, he was concerned. We held each other tightly, and he was caressing me and rubbing me and i was doing the same. I could feel his erection underneath his pajama pants and he also felt it touch me at the same time. He squeezed me tighter pressing himself into me and was kissing me on the face and neck and shoulders.

Then suddenly he pushed away from me, realising that Xeia would not be happy with us for the display of affection. He didn't tell me this outloud, but thats what we both felt, it was like an unspoken knowing between us. But we were magnetically attracted in that moment and he embraced me again, as if he knew he would not get the chance again and held me gently and lovingly.

We both wanted each other very much , there was a devouring energy that neither of us could resist and we moaned and sighed during our embrace and exchanged a long goodbye like we didn't want to forget the moment. I knew Rok then and he knew me, from long ago and it was like two old friends finding each other at long last, this was the feeling we had. We did not want to end the hug, but the guilt over Xeia compelled both of us to break the trance.

Nice "dream"...

"But the guilt over Xeia"??

What guilt? I know there is no guilt on 3D... at least that's what i heard many times... so, why should there be any then in the subconscious mind?

Oh yeah... that's right... It's just a "dream"

P.S. I guess i do have too many "obstacles"... i failed to get aroused by any of it

Introspection - Page 3 Xeia177

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Introspection