Posts : 1848
Join date : 2014-01-31
Age : 65
Location : Druid county UK
Thank you, Sanicle, for your honesty. Yes it's honest to say that we share a similar imprinting at the start of our lives. Although I woke up to enter the core of it, 5 years ago. My question regarding resonance addresses issues in all levels of life, for isn't resonance an initial starting up of a process, a life event that is lived through with all of that we are and how we express ourselves, physically, emotionally and spiritually?
To me, when talking about opposites that attract each other, as you call it, and my view on resonance in "like attracts like" I see no opposite in the way I look at it. There's a sense of opposition maybe, I can see that, but I can't see an opposition in both beings that are involved, at the root of it, deep inside.
To me, there's a different expression of the same issue, in 2 people that feel attracted to each other, so that people from the outside exclaim"Oh, these two are so very different, like the day and the night"
One may choose to survive by sublimating the pain and masking the trauma, projecting each evidence of that in his/her life, fully on others. The pain is fuel for an abuse of power in order to build walls around a broken trust. The other of the two may choose to survive by feeling unworthy and guilty, suppressing the trauma too, but in a different way, avoiding the use of power at all costs, for that's what caused the trauma in this person in the first place.
That's how I felt caught in that view, be it at the root of my present life or stemming from past life experiences. Or both, which was the case, in my situation. I've learned to look at it this way, going into deeper levels. At some point, two years ago, I asked myself a deeply honest question. I said "If I had to go through an experience of feeling abandoned and as a result of that, found evidence of being denied even, at the tiny first flowering of my life, what is it in me, what is it that caused me to choose for such a deep denial in the first place?"
I still can feel the trembling inside, when I asked myself this question. Slowly, through time, I've found the pieces of the puzzle, the true core of what caused my existences to be played out in a certain way. Not all was enshrouded in suffering, by the way, I've found that I've tried to look in many facets of the crystal called life.
Now that I've found the gift that was hidden in the suffering, and rewrote my life's script, I can still find similar tremblings inside, caused by triggers in the outside world, but I know how to look at them and see them for what they truly are, with compassion, common sense and humor, when I'm awake. More often than not, these days. Not always, for I'm no saint
And so, to go back to the question "Is it likeness or an opposite force?" although the way and expression is different, what's at the bottom of both partners is the same. To me, like always attracts like, and like finds its other like by resonance, so to speak. From the personality level it may seem there's an opposite, for when I'm upset and feel hurt by someone else, I'm instinctively jumping to conclusions that show up with proof "Oh no, I can't believe it, I would never do such a thing, I wouldn't even consider it an option!" To me, the tendency to judge any outside cause as "the guilty and nasty party" is part of the victim's role, in need of verifying and justifying the suffering that I may hold inside, as a victim.
To me, all mythical, psychic or drug induced visions of dragon - or snake like creatures, are projections of our human nature in polarity consciousness.
We seem to be sort of.... ordained to make chocolate of both sides of one hand. Figuring out what's been shown in this mirror: evil-live. I'm finding much recognition in the work of Carl Gustav Jung, more in his own biography, in the way he chose to walk his life, bravely exposing himself to the test of his own theories, when he grew up, while Sigmund Freud was becoming famous elsewhere in the world.
If I've understood well, living together for those two is what 's called a double bind relationships. We can't live without the other and so we sustain a life in suffering and we can't work it out, for being caught in that paradigm, that loop, when lacking confidence and feelings of safety and trust. Both partners keep this pact alive and so
the shackles are very strong.
It's synchronicity again, that I've followed several online discussions of people who've lived or still try to live with a parent, sibling or spouse with a narcistic personality. Some of them were honest in saying that they couldn't acknowledge
the truth of knowing that they lived with a spouse that showed many signs of a narcistic personality. After reading the signs and shared experiences.
Something inside couldn't cope with that truth and I can understand that very well, when I remember the time, when 2 parts of me with different views, were present in me. One part couldn't live with the truth and held on to an illusion and another part knew very clearly that this, what the other part avoided to acknowledge, in disbelief, was the truth.
Fortunately, I acted on the latter, in making different steps and new decisions in my life, which is almost as if it happened outside of me having a say in it. That is, it seems that my mind didn't have much say in this
I need to explain that once I began to discern and know my projections and the deeper issues that were triggered, I found that much of my pain had nothing to do with the cause, or rather... the trigger and waking up of all that was already present within me, but needed to be addressed. I know that my being was the director of all that happened in this life transforming experience, 5 years ago. Part of the healing was also going through past life experiences and memories, again, without my mind having a say in it
Thank you, Sanicle, for having this conversation with you. Do you feel we're having one? I'll come back to it in a week or so, for I'm busy with sorting out my home in Holland, having someone in my home to choose what can be arranged and made ready for transport and more of the sort of things that need to be done, when moving overseas, to another country.